when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I woke up and realized I didn’t start a fire last night. I live in Alaska and our winter nights can reach -30 below zero. My fish are dead, my plasma television won’t turn on, and the cat has frostbite. FML

December 26, 2017 at 3:42 pm Add a comment!

At least you are alive. Your fishes are not.

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Living

« Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said “You’re having salad.” FML »