when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I started my new job as a UPS delivery guy. I successfully delivered only 3 out of the 25 packages: One to my ex and his new boyfriend, one to an elderly lady who pissed herself because I “rang the bell too loud” and one to a little girl who screamed, “Stranger danger!” FML

September 25, 2017 at 8:04 pm Add a comment!

Oh, well you could probably get of your shift early.

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« Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife’s period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML »