fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

fmylife.com

fmylife.com

  1. By go away karen! - Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML
  2. [spicy] | By Anonymous - Today, after trying for five years to get pregnant, I just found out that my husband had a vasectomy and he didn't tell me. FML
  3. By Anonymous - Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML
  4. [spicy] | By Anonymous - Today, I'm in love with a beautiful Russian woman. We are so compatible. However, I'm in a relationship though, in which my partner won't touch me or tell me she loves me. I'm in trouble every day for anything and everything. I'm faithful even though I've only had sex maybe 5 times in the last 4 years. FML
  5. By Anonymous - Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML
  6. By Anonymous - Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
  7. By Anonymous - Today, I had a big presentation at work and I was feeling really confident. I'd practiced it over and over and I knew it inside out. But when I got up to speak, I realized I had left my notes at home. I ended up winging it and it was a disaster. FML
  8. By Anonymous - Today, two of my coworkers broke the dishwasher. They ran a fully cooked rotisserie chicken through it multiple times until the meat disintegrated off its bones, just to 'see what would happen'. FML
  9. By Anonymous - Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML
  10. By Anonymous - Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
  11. By Anonymous - Today, I got a parking ticket because I was too busy singing along to my music to notice that I'd overstayed the time limit on the quick stop parking space. FML
  12. By Anonymous - Today, after I'd spent all summer creating lesson plans for the fall, I'm finally ready for new students. I'd tested all my lessons with summer school students, who loved them because it taught them to think differently about how to use a computer. My boss told me I can't use it because students won't like it, even though they already did. FML
  13. By Anonymous - Today, I discovered that my mother has been stealing from me to cover her mountain of debt. I’m barely making ends meet as it is. When I confronted her, she had the gall to suggest I get a second job to support her. FML
  14. By Anonymous - Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML
  15. By Anonymous - Today, I accidentally swallowed a piece of gum. My doctor says it'll pass in 7-10 years. FML

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