when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I was running late for work and, in my rush, spilled coffee all over my shirt. When I finally got to the office, I realized I had forgotten my laptop at home. FML

Just plan meetings all the day and you might not need the laptop. Don´t worry about the shirt.

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, “I’m fucking horrible, I’m working at Costco,” nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

Just tell her were you work and she will feel better

Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss’s constant micromanagement. FML

Just send the messages ment for your boss to your friend. That will even it up.

Today, I watched as a bin man picked up and threw into his truck the bag I foolishly left a few metres from a public bin before I got on the train. That bag contained every document that proves my identity for my new job, my driver’s licence, birth certificate, passport, oh and my wallet. FML

You still have a pen though. Right?

Today, I used one of my ex-coworkers as a reference. She gave a really bad review about me, causing me to miss out on the job opportunity of a lifetime, all because she’s still upset I wore the same dress as her at the company holiday gala 2 years ago. FML

Good thing she didn´t mentioned anything about that you had the same dress though…

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

Great. Now you wan´t be hearing anything more from that stupid boss again.

Today, I was working a phone call in a call center when I suddenly began to faint while at it. It turned out to be a bad dream I’d woken up from, because it’s been three months since I’ve worked at that call center. FML

Great. Don´t forget to pick up your paycheck.

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a “real n**ga” and “getting bitches and hoes 24/7.” My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

Oh, just apply for another job. Maybe as a pimp so you won´t even have to change your resume.

Today, at work, I was waiting in line to pay my food at the cafeteria when I noticed the doctor who was in front of me had these really cool looking shoes on. I told him, “I like your shoes!” He turned over, looked at me and didn’t say anything back. FML

Thats better than if he had said. “Oh great. Wanna fuck?

Today, I found out that one of my coworkers, who has been with the company for less than a week, is getting a $7k pay rise. I’ve been with the company for 8 months and still on minimum wage. FML

At least you have got a job.