Today, I was so tired at work that I typed out “wherehouse” instead of “warehouse” in a document shared with my co-workers. It took me several seconds to realize why the heck the spell checker had underlined “wherehouse” in red. FML
At least you didn´t write whorehouse. Then the spell checker wouldn´t have noticed.
Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I’d sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn’t feel my legs. FML
At least you got paid for the time
Today, I was running late for work and, in my rush, spilled coffee all over my shirt. When I finally got to the office, I realized I had forgotten my laptop at home. FML
Just plan meetings all the day and you might not need the laptop. Don´t worry about the shirt.
Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, “I’m fucking horrible, I’m working at Costco,” nearly making me spit my drink out. FML
Just tell her were you work and she will feel better
Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss’s constant micromanagement. FML
Just send the messages ment for your boss to your friend. That will even it up.
Today, I watched as a bin man picked up and threw into his truck the bag I foolishly left a few metres from a public bin before I got on the train. That bag contained every document that proves my identity for my new job, my driver’s licence, birth certificate, passport, oh and my wallet. FML
You still have a pen though. Right?
Today, I used one of my ex-coworkers as a reference. She gave a really bad review about me, causing me to miss out on the job opportunity of a lifetime, all because she’s still upset I wore the same dress as her at the company holiday gala 2 years ago. FML
Good thing she didn´t mentioned anything about that you had the same dress though…
Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML
Great. Now you wan´t be hearing anything more from that stupid boss again.
Today, I was working a phone call in a call center when I suddenly began to faint while at it. It turned out to be a bad dream I’d woken up from, because it’s been three months since I’ve worked at that call center. FML
Great. Don´t forget to pick up your paycheck.
Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a “real n**ga” and “getting bitches and hoes 24/7.” My brother had changed it as a prank. FML
Oh, just apply for another job. Maybe as a pimp so you won´t even have to change your resume.