when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I learned that the starting date for my class was a typo. Instead of 6/22, it was 6/2. FML

Great. Some extra holidays.

Today, while in class our exchange student turned to quietly ask “have you got a rubber?” Shocked but trying to be nice I reached in my purse and discreetly handed her a condom. She looked horrified and moved seats. It was later explained to me that in Europe a rubber is actually an eraser. FML

Yea, but why would she need an eraser in classroom…

Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room and I have an extremely poor short-term memmory. I am also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML

That explains how they could have such a low tuition fee.

Today, I tried to turn in a final exam online. When I went to check if it had been submitted Blackboard told me it did. My grade told a different story. FML

You might just have submitted it but with all the answers wrong.

Today, the first day of school, I went to the book store to purchase my textbooks. Not only did I wait for 30 minutes, but they didn’t even have my books in stock. I was advised to visit another campus 45 minutes away. They didn’t have it either. I have assignments due already. FML

Don´t worry you can buy a used one when the semester is over.

Today, I found out why my professor accused me of not handing in an important essay before the due date. Apparently she spilled coffee all over it and didn’t dare to tell me. FML

Well now you know.

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I’m staying single for the next 3 years. FML

Great. Now you can focus on your studies.

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

That gives you a perfectly fine excuse not to do the test

Today, I learned that the new granite countertop in my parents’ house cost $12,000. Coincidentally, this is also the amount of money I would have needed to go to the college of my dreams instead of the cheaper school I currently attend. FML

That is priorities my friend. A collage education will be over in 4 years. A roof top will last much longer.

Today, I was looking through my university email searching for a specific message. That’s when I found an email from back in January saying I won the giveaway the school’s gym held for a GoPro. It’s now May. FML