when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

How did you found out if you both were awake on the way to the bathroom.

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

That might not have been you that did anything wrong, so you might still get the license, she might have her retracted though…

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML

Thats no problem. It would have been worse if that had been correct.

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

As long as you don´t need to know what he is doing with the orange in the bedroom, you can´t complain.

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

Great. Now you wan´t be hearing anything more from that stupid boss again.

Today my brother walked in on me while I was using his shaver to trim my pubic hair. FML

Great. Now he knows what you need for christmas.

Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML

Don´t worry it is not the same thing as if you had oralsex with her.

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn’t find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

Just give her the toiletbrush some time when she is really tired and about to brush her teeth.

Today, after losing my job, my apartment and my man, I had to move back in with my mom, at 37. She’s a total slob; I can’t function without clean, organized spaces. So, hey, at least I have a new full-time job now: cleaning up after her. FML

Great. You have a place to stay and something to do.

Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn’t know I was adopted. FML

Well, now you know. Surprise.