Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
You are a bad ass musician.
Today, I tried to remove my contact lens, but it wouldn’t budge. Turns out I was pulling on my cornea. I now have a pool of blood in my eye. FML
Thats why we have two eyes.
Today, in gym class, we were doing leg exercises. Unsure how to do it, I somehow managed to kick the wall, lose my balance, faceplant, and break my ankle. FML
Well, you didn´t break your legs so you could still try that leg exercise.
Great. Now you don´t need to squeze that one
Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML