Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
At least that wan´t make you pregnant
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Don´t worry, you have another eardrum…
Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML
You are a bad ass musician.
Today, I tried to remove my contact lens, but it wouldn’t budge. Turns out I was pulling on my cornea. I now have a pool of blood in my eye. FML
Thats why we have two eyes.
Today, in gym class, we were doing leg exercises. Unsure how to do it, I somehow managed to kick the wall, lose my balance, faceplant, and break my ankle. FML
Well, you didn´t break your legs so you could still try that leg exercise.