fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

You think your life sucks? Think about the cop that have to strighten this mess out.

Today, I found out that people in the apartment to the left, in the one to the right and in the one above mine all tested positive for Covid, a week ago. FML

Just keep a distance of 1,8 m from the walls and the ceiling and you will be safe…

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

Just take the car at your spot.

Maybee it was…

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he’s mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

It´s still great to work from home. But not with a drunk neighbour

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbour put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

Well. Maybee you can get someone else water your lawn. So now you owe me $75 for that tip.

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don’t water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

Everyone is happy, so what are you complaining about

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying “Keep doing what you’re doing”. FML

Interesting. The first case of addiction to an addict

Today, I’m actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

It´s just like a party but without the fun

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

Or else she will burn your house down, or what?

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, “or else.” FML