when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I had to call a locksmith because I got locked out of my apartment. It cost a total of $350 to break in and repair the lock. Not even 3 hours later, I dropped my only key in the sewer. FML

Maybe you could ask the locksmith for a quantity discount.

Today, as I was coming out of McDonald’s, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn’t until I got home later that I realized I’d accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML

Next time you pass him. Just take $90 back from the case. He will understand.

Today, I need money to fix my car, I need my car to get to work, and I need work to get money. FML

That what loans are for.

Today I had to decide between buying medicine and buying food FML

Let me suggest you choose the medicine. It is some sugar in the pills so you will get some carbs to…

Today, my sister couldn’t find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML

Great. Now you know where it is til next time.

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car’s faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

Just go back and tell them you are not buying that car that you took for a testdrive.

Today, my dog became too old to eat dry food. A $9 bag used to last him 3 weeks. The equivalent in the cheapest canned food is $63. FML

Well, if your dog had a “little accident” your expenses for dogfood should be just about zero.

Today, I received the Christmas gift I bought for my sister in the mail. I also received a nearly $200 bill for shipping fees, taxes, etc. for a $50 blanket from Canada. FML

She should be happy after you spent so much money at her gift.

Today, I learned that the new granite countertop in my parents’ house cost $12,000. Coincidentally, this is also the amount of money I would have needed to go to the college of my dreams instead of the cheaper school I currently attend. FML

That is priorities my friend. A collage education will be over in 4 years. A roof top will last much longer.

Today, I was volunteering at a soup kitchen and was advised to leave my wallet and cell phone in my car so they wouldn’t be stolen. Someone broke into my car and stole them. FML

Great. Your insurance will cover that much better.