when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I learned it’s a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

Great. Cigarettes are expensive so now you have that butt for your next smoke.

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

No worries. Some nicotine will cheer you up

Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML

That´s effective though. Most people don´t fall and brake their nose until after midnight, spending 6 – 7 hours at the club.

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

At least you got drunk. And it was legal.

Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML

Well, at least it was your own puke.