when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I stopped to gas up. The pump wasn’t taking my BP rewards card, and it said to go see the cashier. I went in to ask what’s up, where the cashier politely pointed out that I was in a Shell gas station, not a BP. FML

Better mix up the cards than mixing up the diesel and gasoline…

Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

Good thing noone had taken that spot while you were drivning around.

Today, I had a flight to Philadelphia, but it got canceled due to bad weather. I booked another, which got delayed. After waiting for almost 12 hours at the airport, I boarded, just to have a super annoying toddler kicking my seat from behind. FML

Stop complaining or you will need to wait another 12 hours.

Today, my wife screamed to stop the car in an intersection, so I slammed on the brakes. From the left, an SUV rammed full force into us. My wife is unharmed, but I now have a broken left arm and our car is totaled. On the bright side, she caught the Pokémon in the road. FML

Might have been a very rare one.

Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend’s place and forgotten. FML

If your car was stolen. Then it would have sucked, due to others evilness. Now it sucks due to your own stupidness. Which sucks. But still not that bad.

Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML

Just bring out the saw and get to work.

See, now you guys are starting to find the good news yourselves

Today, my car broke down. The good news is I can afford to have it fixed. The bad news is paying for the fix will wipe out my savings, which I need to get certified for a non-minimum-wage job. FML

Next time walk. If someone hit you you can sue them

Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should’ve walked. FML

You reached 100 000 before you need to scrap it

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

No problems. Just pretend it was a practical joke

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML