Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML
Well, you could probably ask for indemnity from yourself for causing that accident…
Today, at 3 in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I’d made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML
I can´t stop laughing and in an 50 years or so you will laugh to.
Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I’ve used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML
Don´t worry. You are already in a wheelchair.
Just don´t keep the jellyfish in your underwear.
Today, it’s the seventh day after my nose job. I was taking something out of a box and pulled too hard. I punched myself in the nose. FML
If you filmed it you will be famous at youtube.
Next time maybe. Maybe next time…
Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald’s. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML
If you have an insurance, it might cover some of this. Oh, yes you need to tell them exactly what happened…
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for “lying” about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Great. There you showed her.
Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was “sex related”. I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML