Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat’s poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML
Good thing it wasn´t your poop.
Today, my husband came home with a snake. I’m terrified of snakes. He made me hold it and it bit me. I am in the hospital, and he is still keeping the snake. FML
If it didn´t had bite you you would have gone over it.
Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
Good thing it wasn´t your cat. You can´t keep a cat that is chewing your hair.
Great. No problems with wasps indoors anymore.
Today, my dog became too old to eat dry food. A $9 bag used to last him 3 weeks. The equivalent in the cheapest canned food is $63. FML
Well, if your dog had a “little accident” your expenses for dogfood should be just about zero.
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn’t dead. FML
Don´t worry. You should be able to talk you out of the situation and you will be released.
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
Good thing it wasn´t a lion.
That´s still cheaper then the food she usually gives her.
Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML
So, what about the cat!