fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

How did you found out if you both were awake on the way to the bathroom.

Today, I accidentally called my kickboxing trainer “Dad.” I’m 27. FML

At least you didn´t scream; Yea daddy! Harder harder! (Well, or maybee you did.)

Today, I was so tired at work that I typed out “wherehouse” instead of “warehouse” in a document shared with my co-workers. It took me several seconds to realize why the heck the spell checker had underlined “wherehouse” in red. FML

At least you didn´t write whorehouse. Then the spell checker wouldn´t have noticed.

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

That might not have been you that did anything wrong, so you might still get the license, she might have her retracted though…

Today, a man came to fix my fridge. He was either on meth or crazy, because he yelled that it was an unsafe work environment, all because my puppy growled at him behind an 8ft fence. He got so crazy, my sick dog had a seizure. I sent the video to his manager, who said we just had a difference in personalities. I agree, I was polite, he was insane. FML

You think your life sucks. What about the puppies. Or that mans life.

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

At least that wan´t make you pregnant

Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML

What a great feeling that 10% of the time he dosn´t out-arges you though…

Today, in the bathroom at work, I heard two co-workers enter and begin a very private discussion. Not wanting to embarrass either of them, I figured I’d sit quietly until they left. Big mistake. They talked for an hour and a half. I couldn’t feel my legs. FML

At least you got paid for the time

Today, I was flattered to receive a hand-addressed letter for the first time in years. I tore it open to discover it was actually addressed to my dog. It was a vaccination reminder from his vet. FML

Just start to get vaccinations yourself at that vet and next time the letter will be for you.

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

Don´t worry, you have another eardrum…