Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
At least you got to know in advance and not at the expected weddingday.
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
That´s effective though. Most people don´t fall and brake their nose until after midnight, spending 6 – 7 hours at the club.
Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML
At least you got drunk. And it was legal.
Today, long after ten years ago when I answered the door to someone asking if my mummy and daddy were home, and I was 24 and it was my house, I just now got asked if my 30 year-old sister was my daughter. Time has not been kind to me. FML
Just get a wig.
Today, I searched my ex-boyfriend on Facebook while my husband slept. He recently got engaged. I regret everything. FML
You are the one that is married though… And he is not married yet…
Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML
And it will be a great afterparty in the car on the way back. High on painkillers.
Nowdays males can get pregnant to…
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Well, if it was a half year performance he didn´t missed that much anyway…
Today, I was admonished by a supermarket cashier because my mask had slipped below my nose. So had hers, actually. FML
As long as one of you have full protection you are both safe… Wait… Ahhhh