Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML
No problems. It could have happened before you broke up.
Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I’m in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML
Yea, from now on the life of the venue owner sucks more than yours.
Today, as it’s my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Well, porn can actually spice up the sexlife so you should be happy.
Great thing it was just a false alarm. If your house had burnt down. Then your life would have sucked.
At least if it had burned down after you finished cleaning…
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers ask if I was her mother. I’m only 17. FML
Don´t worry. They probably thought your sister looked like 2 years old and you became a mother at 15.
Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML
Great. Now you have several reasons to break up.
Today, I celebrated my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Since I’m bad at writing, I took a list from the internet titled “100 Things That I Love About You” and gave it to him to read while I read what he wrote for me. It was exactly the same thing, taken from the same page. FML
Cheers up. You guys were so ment for each other…
Today, I woke up hungover, locked in my bathroom. This wouldn’t be a problem, except in my drunken stupor, I snapped the key. I live alone and there’s no windows. FML
No windows. Good Noone have seen you in ther in your misery.
Today, my wife is threatening divorce because I won’t hire her son, my stepson, at the company I work at. Even the lowest position at my company requires a degree in computing, and prior experience. My stepson dropped out of high school to “discover himself” 12 years ago. FML
Well, a wife with that kind of demands is not much to have so you might just aply for the divorce first.
Today, my four-year-old son received a 20 Euro bill from his grandmother. Since he couldn’t fit the bill into his piggy bank, he tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces to make it fit. FML
So, don´t worry, what have this to do with your life?