Today, I celebrated my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Since I’m bad at writing, I took a list from the internet titled “100 Things That I Love About You” and gave it to him to read while I read what he wrote for me. It was exactly the same thing, taken from the same page. FML
Cheers up. You guys were so ment for each other…
Today, I woke up hungover, locked in my bathroom. This wouldn’t be a problem, except in my drunken stupor, I snapped the key. I live alone and there’s no windows. FML
No windows. Good Noone have seen you in ther in your misery.
Today, my wife is threatening divorce because I won’t hire her son, my stepson, at the company I work at. Even the lowest position at my company requires a degree in computing, and prior experience. My stepson dropped out of high school to “discover himself” 12 years ago. FML
Well, a wife with that kind of demands is not much to have so you might just aply for the divorce first.
Today, my four-year-old son received a 20 Euro bill from his grandmother. Since he couldn’t fit the bill into his piggy bank, he tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces to make it fit. FML
So, don´t worry, what have this to do with your life?
Don´t worry. Constipation will probably be one of the conditions under the law of discrimination in the future.
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn’t dead. FML
Don´t worry. You should be able to talk you out of the situation and you will be released.
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type ‘virginia’ into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for ‘virgin boy assholes’. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I’m a young guy. FML
Just get rid of your ass virginity before tomorrow and he might not be interested.
Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML
Just bring out the saw and get to work.
Today, I was looking through my university email searching for a specific message. That’s when I found an email from back in January saying I won the giveaway the school’s gym held for a GoPro. It’s now May. FML