fmylife.com
fmylife.com
- By "cowboy_gold " - Today, I came back to my dorm only to find the noise of my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was talking in my head when I said at least do it against the other wall. But, when I was leaving later, he walked by apologizing and said that he thought that I was not there, then promised to do more quietly next time. FML
- By Anonymous - Today, I woke up from putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize until I smelt burning plastic.. FML
- By Anonymous - Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
- By - Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
- By - Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
- By Redbeard - Today, while having my husband's boss at home. My 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell "mum look! Penis!" And wiggled it around... FML
- By ThreeHoursEarly - Today, I was told to be present for a meeting that started at 5pm. I arrived 15 minutes early, and I was late for the meeting. This happens regularly. FML
- By "netflix12345" - Today, I was hanging out with my 5 year boyfriend. He took me out on a boat and made me wear my most elegant outfit ever. Before getting on the boat, a girl pushed me. I fell and almost drowned in the lake. My dress was ruined. FML
- [spicy] | By - Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML
- By "penne_pasta580802" - Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML
- By buttdick - Today, I was trying to straddle my boyfriend how you would to do 69 and he plucked a hair off my ass cheek and said "got it. It was a black one." We did not continue. FML
- By - Today, I heard that my mom is coming back from France, where my brother lives. I have lived in the same place, exactly 45 minutes from my mother, for 6 years. She hasn't visited me once, but has been out of state to see my sibling. FML
- By whiteboyfresh69 - Today, while sleeping off my hangover, my niece asked me to get her a drink. I gave her a beer, I didn't notice it until it was gone. She is only 6 years old. FML
- By - Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML
- By fuck - Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with the guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML