fmylife.com
fmylife.com
- By Tank - Today my boss and the director of my office came by to discuss a change to the doors. It was at that moment my stupid possessed tablet in my bag opened pandora to "show tunes" and played 'the internet is for porn'. FML
- By ManNeeds2019 - Today is day 28 since a corrective surgery on my urethra. During my recovery I made my wife cum twice while my catheter made erections excruciating. She still hasn't had sex with me and accused me of "treating her like a sex object" for asking. FML
- By BurningSensation - Today, I had what I thought was a UTI, so I went to the Dr. Not only did they not find anything, but they had to catheterize me. I went from simple painful urination to feeling like someone is sticking a red hot knife down there every time I use the restroom, and no one seems to know why. FML
- By Anonymous - Today, I realized my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. it’s driving me crazy, only 8 more weeks. FML
- By maisumepg - Today, it’s the 3rd month of my diet. Every dream I’ve had since I started has been entirely about junk food. Every. Single. One. FML
- By "chelbelle90" - I found out that my abusive ex husband not only got just 3 months for almost killing me...they released him almost a week early and authorities never contacted me like they were supposed to; I ended up seeing him driving and I had a panic attack on the freeway...
- By Anonymous - Today my stove exploded just a week after my refrigerator unexpectedly stopped working. Great way to start 2019 ! FML
- By heathenapparently - Today while driving me to the airport for a trip to Japan my mother started crying. When I asked her why she said "I just know that if the plane crashes I will never see you again because you are going to hell." .. Thank you, mom. I love you too. FML
- By something - Today I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door with no lock. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
- By "carmasinclair" - Today I broke off my passenger mirror because there was a huge carpet sticking out of a trash can. I hit it barely going 10 miles an hour and now its going to cost 200+ to fix. fml
- By - Today my car slid off the road because of black ice. I work two jobs, go to college full-time, and already owe $1300 in various places. Now I have no transportation until I fix my car... which the mechanic said will be $800. Looks like I'm eating ramen for the next year or two. FML.
- By "Amanda G Rich" - Today, I had an upset stomach and shit myself in the 1st 30 min at work. I cleaned my pants in the sink and had to walk around in front of everybody with soaked pants until I found my supervisor. FML
- By Fanci - Today I found out that my landlord is switching to a property management company, and it will take 2 weeks for my rent to get deposited to them when I send it, when I could just go across town and pay it in cash before. My rent is due in a week. FML
- By - Today I started my new job. I slept in, then my SatNav broke. I finally got to the clients house and was knocking on the door for 15 minutes (at 7.30am).....I was knocking on the wrong door. FML
- By Insomnia - Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML