fmylife.com
fmylife.com
- By Loney - Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
- By nadine - All the tweets in this list are from Kanye. Psych- we wouldn't do that to y'all.
- By Fml - Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML
- By Fml4evr - Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML
- By Nadine - Please don't stop the m-u-u-s-s-s-i-i-i-c! Or do, in some cases. Here are the 10 funniest FMLs about music.
- By BeachBummer - Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML
- By nadine - The tally is in! This week we've personal stories, some people questioning the validity of certain FMLs in a hilarious way, and a porn joke coming in at #1. There were so many to choose from, fam, so hats off to you guys. These were our top 10 favorites. Enjoy!
- By no handouts! - Today, my mom gave me a severe scolding because I refuse to support my 3 sisters, and support 3 "home-wreckers" instead. They are my daughters, who are 3, 5, and 7 years old. My sisters are 25, 28, and 31 years old, and won't get jobs because they are "too important". FML
- By Anonymous - Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
- By My rapey cat (doesn't even have balls) - Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
- By nadine - Break out the tissues. You're about to be in tears from all the FML.
- By never ending story - Today, it doesn’t matter that I had major surgery on my hand 2 days ago and am supposed to be on bed rest with no hand movement for 3 weeks. According to my father and my husband, it doesn’t excuse me from wifely house duties and being the sole caretaker of our one-year-old. FML
- By nadine - Here's another selection of the worst FMLs we've received over the years. Read them and weep.
- By Clumsy76 - Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML
- By thefoolwhorippedhispants - Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML