fmylife.com
fmylife.com
- By Anonymous - Today, I'd finished cleaning the interior of my vehicle, but seconds later, a stray cat jumped in through the other opened door, and took a dump right in the center of the mat inside. FML
- By alycion - Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
- By kk- - Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me and I'd chained-smoked all night, I had a driving test. With only 3 hours of sleep, I literally drove through a red light during the test. FML
- By Nosmie - Today, the worst part about not having a sense of smell is that I can’t tell if anyone ate pizza without me. Unless I see an empty box in the trash. FML
- By Lonely At Griffith - Today, well into my second year at university, I still haven't made a single friend. FML
- By Goiter - Today, I was telling my fiancée about my Hashimoto's symptoms when my MIL to-be said, "You must be drinking too much alcohol. My aunt had a goiter and it only swelled when she drank, usually bourbon or beer." She then walked out of the room, perfectly content with her "diagnosis." FML
- By metalmeow - Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
- By Turbo - Today, as a truck driver, I was flipped off, cursed at, told to go to hell and several other obscenities because I was a half-hour EARLY to my delivery. FML
- By boardwalk the fuck out of my resturaunt - Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML
- [spicy] | By Nav - Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML
- By Ashley Youngman - Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML
- By Ohdear - Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML
- By ImprovTeacher - Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
- By Raspution - Today, I received my first customer complaint. It said, "I am a regular customer and when I come in, he is always smiling and tells me he will see me soon when I leave. This makes me feel very uncomfortable." Now I'm under investigation for sexual harassment. FML
- By reluctant teacher - Today, I had 15 teenagers literally laugh in my face when I asked them to be quiet. I'm a student teaching in a high school, which is the culmination of 2 years of my life and $20,000, and I might in fact actually hate doing it. FML