Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with the following: a finger and a “Fuck you!” It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
He said hi, and so did you. In your way.
Don´t worry. Constipation will probably be one of the conditions under the law of discrimination in the future.
Today, I got a phone call from my boss, who’d hired me after two months of waiting and begging for this position. A week into the job, the company is closing our store. FML
Now you can go back doing whatever you did before.
Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker’s extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker’s efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML
It is all about timing you know.
Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML
You had only one boss, but will have plenty of clients. Sorry that´s not very elevating
Today, I have a better relationship with the machinery I’ve given names to at work than my actual coworkers. FML
They will soon be replaced by robots anyway.
Today, I start my second shift at my new job. Apparently, I’m closing by myself. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. FML
Just lock the door… or something.
Today, I got fired from my first-ever job. Via text. I hadn’t even started the first day but I’m expected to drive an hour and a half to my now ex-boss’s house to return the key. FML
Don´t bother about it. What are they going to do? Keep your non existing salary?
Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML
Great. Now you can go back to bed