fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I start my second shift at my new job. Apparently, I’m closing by myself. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. FML

Just lock the door… or something.

Today, I got fired from my first-ever job. Via text. I hadn’t even started the first day but I’m expected to drive an hour and a half to my now ex-boss’s house to return the key. FML

Don´t bother about it. What are they going to do? Keep your non existing salary?

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

Great. Now you can go back to bed

But that´s exactly what you needed. Wasn´t it?

Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML

You could always teach him some crap that destroys everything

Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his “far superior” Excel skills. I’m now teaching him how to do the job that I didn’t get. FML

Don´t worry. You are probably the president

Today, I am starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven’t been told what my duties are, who my line manager is or who to ask if I need help. FML

That saved you a lot of responsibility

Today, after years busting my hump for my father’s business with the understanding of one day taking it over, he informed me that my nephew, who has never shown any interest in the company, is being brought in to take it over. FML

Just open it and look if she wrote something inside it. Cheaters are so sofisticated those days

Today, I’m supervising an exam. I spot a girl who goes to the bathroom with a paper in her pocket. Proud to stop her in time, I waved the paper. It was a sanitary napkin. FML

Good thing. Now you both earn money at work, and don´t loose them by playing at the casino

Today, I got a job at a casino where I was actually planning on spending my 21st birthday next month. After they hired me, they told me no employees are allowed to play or gamble on or off the clock, for as long as they are employed there, or termination will immediately follow. FML

Don´t worry. You will either have a job or a friend left.

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He’s also about to rent a new apartment which he won’t be able to afford when he loses his job. I can’t warn him or I’ll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML