fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Don´t worry. You are probably the president

Today, I am starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven’t been told what my duties are, who my line manager is or who to ask if I need help. FML

That saved you a lot of responsibility

Today, after years busting my hump for my father’s business with the understanding of one day taking it over, he informed me that my nephew, who has never shown any interest in the company, is being brought in to take it over. FML

Just open it and look if she wrote something inside it. Cheaters are so sofisticated those days

Today, I’m supervising an exam. I spot a girl who goes to the bathroom with a paper in her pocket. Proud to stop her in time, I waved the paper. It was a sanitary napkin. FML

Good thing. Now you both earn money at work, and don´t loose them by playing at the casino

Today, I got a job at a casino where I was actually planning on spending my 21st birthday next month. After they hired me, they told me no employees are allowed to play or gamble on or off the clock, for as long as they are employed there, or termination will immediately follow. FML

Don´t worry. You will either have a job or a friend left.

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He’s also about to rent a new apartment which he won’t be able to afford when he loses his job. I can’t warn him or I’ll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

That´s called the school of life

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven’t even scored a single interview; he’s a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

Who wants to work anyway?

Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor’s appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn’t be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML

His Life can´t be that fun either

Today, I started my new job. Not even 2 hours in did some old man ask me where I live, what’s my number, and if I was interested in being with him and his friends. This guy is at least over 50 and works with me. I left my old job because some old men kept asking the same things. FML

Your day was much better than his though

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the one guy sitting next to me, and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

Nice try. It would have been cooler to fix the lock though.

Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn’t open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML