fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

Don´t worry. Constipation will probably be one of the conditions under the law of discrimination in the future.

Today, I got a phone call from my boss, who’d hired me after two months of waiting and begging for this position. A week into the job, the company is closing our store. FML

Now you can go back doing whatever you did before.

Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker’s extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker’s efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML

It is all about timing you know.

Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML

You had only one boss, but will have plenty of clients. Sorry that´s not very elevating

Today, I have a better relationship with the machinery I’ve given names to at work than my actual coworkers. FML

They will soon be replaced by robots anyway.

Today, I start my second shift at my new job. Apparently, I’m closing by myself. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. FML

Just lock the door… or something.

Today, I got fired from my first-ever job. Via text. I hadn’t even started the first day but I’m expected to drive an hour and a half to my now ex-boss’s house to return the key. FML

Don´t bother about it. What are they going to do? Keep your non existing salary?

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

Great. Now you can go back to bed

But that´s exactly what you needed. Wasn´t it?

Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML

You could always teach him some crap that destroys everything

Today, I spent my working day teaching my new Supervisor the basics of Excel. Until two weeks ago, he was the Office Junior. He and I applied for the same job, but he got it based on the strengths of his “far superior” Excel skills. I’m now teaching him how to do the job that I didn’t get. FML