fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

See, now you guys are starting to find the good news yourselves

Today, my car broke down. The good news is I can afford to have it fixed. The bad news is paying for the fix will wipe out my savings, which I need to get certified for a non-minimum-wage job. FML

You got your own row… as you said.

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

At least it didn´t fell into a hole.

Today, travelling in China, I was told to write a wish on a ribbon attached to a stone, and then throw it into a tree. The higher the wish lands, the greater the chance that it’ll come true. My wish landed in a trashcan. FML

One of them isn´t that bad as the other one.

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

You could have said “Your yellow skin”

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I’d fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. “Your eyes” was definitely the wrong answer. FML

Good. It´s healthy with a fast once in a while

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

You don´t say you saw stars when you kissed?

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

Fuck..? No or yes… But you got no symphaties here.

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he’s only 18. I’m old enough to be his mom. FML

Great. To much cosset want do you good anyway

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

Great, now you know that method works

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I’d just showed him. FML