fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML

Just bring out the saw and get to work.

See, now you guys are starting to find the good news yourselves

Today, my car broke down. The good news is I can afford to have it fixed. The bad news is paying for the fix will wipe out my savings, which I need to get certified for a non-minimum-wage job. FML

Next time walk. If someone hit you you can sue them

Today, I had a bad feeling about walking to work because of the weather. Instead, I drove. My car slid on the ice and I created a four-car pile up. All three of the other people involved have decided to sue me. I should’ve walked. FML

You reached 100 000 before you need to scrap it

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

No problems. Just pretend it was a practical joke

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

That´s a great bus though

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn’t miss me. I’ve been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

Good thing the police didn´t made a drugtest at the moment

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

Don´t worry, you can just walk around afterwards and explain to everybody

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I’m purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

But your haircut still looks great

Today, I did the smart thing and bought an umbrella before walking to work. My efforts proved useless when a truck ran through a huge puddle and drenched me from head to toe. My underwear was still wet 4 hours later.

That acctually are good advices

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn’t screaming, she gave great advice like, “Stop at the red light” and “Don’t crash into cars”. I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML