Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, “Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun.” FML
Well, just kick him in the groin.
Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML
That´s not against the rules and could give you an advantage so just keep playing. Winning is everything. Reputation is nothing.
Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school’s 6’8″, 275-pound, blond quarterback isn’t standing behind you. FML