fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. Aside from falling every 2 minutes, I was apparently showing the entire mountain (including my dad) my thong every time I fell and got back up. My boyfriend saw everything and didn’t let me know until we finished the 20-minute run we were on. FML

It could have been more embarrasing if you were a boy.

Today, when I asked my husband to join me In the shower to “save water”, he said, “let the environment suffer, not me.” FML

He probably just is allergic to water.

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she’d had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

Maybee she had thought the coworker was gay

You should be happy getting some quality-time with your daughters. In fifteen years they want be celebrating with you.

Today, I had my daughters for New Year’s Eve, since my ex-wife and her boyfriend were laid up with bad colds. According to Facebook, however, they were having a great evening out at the bar toasting in the New Year. FML

Wow. That´s all the cliches in one message.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, “I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It’s not you it’s me.” FML

Good for you. In that case it would have been worse if he had got a boner.

Today, I bought myself a new perfume. Now, there’s a sulky husband lying next to me in bed who can’t get it up because I smell like his mum. FML

Don´t worry. He could get a pair for you to

Today, I was crying and telling my boyfriend about my problems. When he suddenly stood up, I thought that he was going to grab me some tissues. Turns out he’d gone to get earplugs. FML

Don´t worry, you will probably get a second chance in a couple of weeks

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML

Don´t complain as long as no pee is on you

Today, my boyfriend was truly upset because I refused to pee on him. FML

Take it easy. Next time he will help you pick out yours.

Today, I learned that marriage isn’t all roses and sunshine. Instead, it’s digging an infected ingrown hair out of your husband’s ass cheek because he can’t reach it himself. FML