Well, don´t worry. Periodic fast is healthy too.
Today, I told my dad I had depression. He responded with, “Why do all gay people have depression?” I’m not gay. FML
So, why are you depressed?
Today, I injured my knee at a Zumba class, a class I joined to lose weight so my knees wouldn’t hurt so much. Now I can’t even go for a leisurely walk. FML
You can still do pushups.
Today, I determined that the only reason I still have a membership to my gym is that the special gummy bears they have in the vending machines are amazing. FML
Today, in an attempt to wash off some stress, I tried out a stress-reliever coloring book. I ended up not being able to color inside the lines, stressing me out even more as a result. FML
You can get a kids coloring book next time. There it´s easier to color inside the lines.
Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I’ve been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML
Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn’t deliver. FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying “Keep doing what you’re doing”. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn’t find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML