when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

You are still alive

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn’t cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

Great. Now they will not beat you any more

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

That means you deserved that placard

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my “Handicapped parking” placard. Guess why I couldn’t stop her. FML

Well, you know what to wish for next christmas

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML