fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I’m in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

Yea, from now on the life of the venue owner sucks more than yours.

You are still alive

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn’t cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

Great. Now they will not beat you any more

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

That means you deserved that placard

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my “Handicapped parking” placard. Guess why I couldn’t stop her. FML

Well, you know what to wish for next christmas

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML