fml.nu

when life sucks… You can always see it from the bright side

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. Aside from falling every 2 minutes, I was apparently showing the entire mountain (including my dad) my thong every time I fell and got back up. My boyfriend saw everything and didn’t let me know until we finished the 20-minute run we were on. FML

It could have been more embarrasing if you were a boy.

Today, when I asked my husband to join me In the shower to “save water”, he said, “let the environment suffer, not me.” FML

He probably just is allergic to water.

Today, my wife and I drove to the other side of the country to attend a swinger party where we thought no one knew us. So did my parents. FML

Next time you don´t need to drive so long to find another swinger-couple. Just go to your parents house.

Today, I hosted my 6-year-old daughter’s birthday party. After inviting 15 kids from her class, making a huge 2-flavor character cake, and cutting pool noodles for light sabers, only 1 kid showed up. FML

One friend is not so bad those days. And now you have cake for several days.

Today, I got fired from my first-ever job. Via text. I hadn’t even started the first day but I’m expected to drive an hour and a half to my now ex-boss’s house to return the key. FML

Don´t bother about it. What are they going to do? Keep your non existing salary?

Today, it’s the 6th day that we have been snowed in. We haven’t left the house, because we can’t. I’ve done at least 30 hours of Legos. FML

Lego is fun though.

Today, in an attempt to wash off some stress, I tried out a stress-reliever coloring book. I ended up not being able to color inside the lines, stressing me out even more as a result. FML

You can get a kids coloring book next time. There it´s easier to color inside the lines.

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she’d had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

Maybee she had thought the coworker was gay

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

All knowledge is good knowledge

Today, in a coffee shop, I purchased two doughnuts and cup of coffee, a regular order which I’ve bought many times before. Today the cost was $1 less and when I inquired why, I was told, “I gave you the senior’s discount.” Their policy is a senior discount for anyone over 55. I turned 50 last week. FML

Don´t say anything. A discount is a discount.